Carnac the Magnificent
Turban bedecked Johnny Carson
     used to give answers to questions
          "hermetically sealed in a mayonnaise jar."
Today I woke up
      in a very cold house
         with doors that had been iced shut by the previous night's frozen rain.
Yet, having experienced what it was like to be "hermetically sealed in"
      I still did not have answers to life's questions.
Ah, where 'ave ye gone, Johnny?